In the spirit of Valentine’s Day, I wanted to take a moment and write about love and relationships, and offer a few tips for improving your relationships. I recently read an article about family relationships and recalled the author writing about family problems, and saying something to the effect of “whatever problems your family is dealing with…the beginning and the end of the solution is LOVE.”
Love is such an important word in the English Language. It’s a complicated word. Say it too much and it loses value. Say it too little and it loses power. Fail to back it up with actions and it loses all meaning. With that as a preface, here are some ideas that could help you improve your relationships.
In the book Romance 101 by Gregory J.P. Godek, he describes “affection as the first cousin of Romance. While romance is the expression of love, affection is the expression of caring.” The longer I live on this little earth, the more I realize how important it is for those closest to us to understand that we really care about them. So how do we express affection? Godek suggests “The minimum daily requirement of affection for a healthy relationship is three doses per day. The “minimum” is defined as one kiss per dose, or its equivalent. Some equivalences: 3 hugs = 1 kiss, 1 “I love you” = 1.5 kisses, 1 greeting card (sentimental) = 1.25 kisses, 1 greeting card (humorous) = 0.5 kiss, 1 phone call from work (1-min. duration minimum) = 1 kiss, 1 “love note” = 1.3 kisses.”
Learn your Partner’s Love Language
In my experience as a therapist and as a husband, I’ve found that it’s critically important to understand your partner’s love language. Fortunately for us world famous marriage expert Gary Chapman has provided us with a road map. If you don’t know your own love language or your partner’s love language you could be inadvertently causing lots of unnecessary pain in your relationships. I strongly recommend taking the time and effort to learn how to better love the ones you love.
Practice giving and receiving forgiveness
While doing research for this post I found this gem of a quote “Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit” Peter Ustinov. Forgiveness is challenging. Owning your mistakes is challenging. Admitting when you’ve hurt someone is difficult. Letting go of resentment and anger is challenging. And it’s essential if you want to have happy relationships.
Finally Have Fun.
Spend time with those you love, do things together, laugh together, cry together, watch sappy love movies together, enjoy a well cooked meal, a weekend long Netflix binge, you get the point. Thanks for reading. Vic
About Victor Myers
The content we post is for informational purposes only and doesn’t replace getting professional help.